Overall, 2013 was a great year. It was the year that I finished my residency, thus bringing to an end not only three years of intense study, but also my time doing in-house call. It was the year that I started my fellowship, thus beginning my last stage of training and the final countdown to becoming an independent physician. And, perhaps most importantly, 2013 was the year that I put myself back into the ring and started dating again. All in all, a year of positives.
But the end of 2013....oh, the end. It has absolutely kicked my ass. The end of my recent relationship marked the beginning of a long and somewhat unexpected stretch of intense unhappiness. Rather than using the breakup as an opportunity to throw myself into my exam preparations, as I hoped I would, I have spent the last month in a woe-is-me state, constantly bemoaning the fact that I find myself back in the unchosen single life. It hasn't been pretty. I've been silent here on the blog simply because I haven't wanted to give myself another outlet for my whining and self pity.
Last night, at the end of the old year and the beginning of the new, I found myself at a house party surrounded by happy couples and their countless offspring. And I wanted to be a better person and simply be happy for other people's happiness, but I wasn't. Instead I allowed myself one (hopefully) final moment of wallowing and sorrow. But now it's 2014, and I'm sitting here watching the sunrise for probably the first time ever on a New Year's Day, and it's time to let go.
Time for a new year, and new beginnings.