When I opened Facebook last Friday morning, the status of one of my friends read "Don't turn on CNN".
In the comment below, it said "Dear God, not Anthony Bourdain."
Dear God, indeed. I am not usually one to get upset about the death of a celebrity, as I'm practical and recognize that there are vastly more important things to worry about right now, but I fucking loved Anthony Bourdain. He was sexy and unapologetic and smart and absolutely obsessed with food. He was the stereotypical entitled white male, and I should have hated him based on my usual patterns, but I didn't. Because although he was rich and had every door in the world open to him, he was also kind. He treated the guests on his show, and the food they served him, with respect. It's possible that he was a total jerk in real life, but his public persona was good.
He also responded to me on Twitter.
I recently called him out for his lack of female representation on The Layover, and he responded with a "Yep". It was the absolute minimum he could have done to acknowledge me, but I was still gleeful about receiving a response from The. Anthony. Bourdain.
And now he's gone.
Within minutes of the news that he had killed himself, people were starting to speculate about the whys of it. And of course, there were people who said things like "What did he have to be depressed about? He had so much money."
Which....seriously?
Don't get me wrong. We all know that there are some very good things about money, starting from its ability to provide us with necessities (food, clothing, shelter) and extending to its ability to fly us to France for fancy pastries. Water is also wet. But while some amount of money is necessary for happiness, no amount of it is enough to buy happiness.
It doesn't fix loneliness.
Or broken brain chemistry.
Or a traumatic past.
It doesn't create love.
Or community.
Or a life purpose.
I have had no money and I have had lots of money in my life, and while I definitely prefer the latter, I also know that money doesn't protect me from being sad.
And we need to stop thinking that it does.
Because even rich people like Anthony Bourdain deserve to be cared for when they're depressed. They deserve forgiveness and understanding for not being able to stay in this often hostile world.
I forgive and understand you Tony. And I will miss the heck out of you.
