It has been a few years since I made a New Year's resolution. In 2017, I resolved to say no to more things, which obviously wasn't enough given the burnout I hit in 2019. In 2018, I seem to have been in a bit of a dark place in which I thought resolving to do anything was futile, because I wouldn't be able to stick to it anyway.
The past two years have shown me that, under the right circumstances, I can actually make pretty big changes in my life. In that time, I've greatly expanded and strengthened my social circle, to the point where I couldn't see everyone I wanted to during my two weeks of holidays. I've started a (somewhat) daily meditation practice and gone to a meditation retreat. I've been really consistent with yoga, going to 45 classes in the first half of the year and 83 in the second half*. I've adopted an intuitive eating practice, which has led me to a much healthier relationship with food (and overall healthier eating habits) than I've had in my life. And I've cut back on my work responsibilities to the point where I am only slightly dreading returning to it tomorrow.
When I look back at the changes I've made, the keys for me have been twofold: motivation and gradual progress. I haven't made changes out of a sense that it's what I should do, but rather because I can see how the changes will make me happier and otherwise enhance my life. The goals I set for myself are personal and are aligned with my values, not things that other people think are important. I've also started slowly with things (It took me over a decade to develop a regular yoga practice!) and allowed myself to learn from the process of change, rather than thinking that I'll be perfect at a new thing the moment I start it. As Done By 40 said in a comment on my last post, "Progress, not perfection".
Looking ahead to 2020, my hope is to have a relatively uneventful year. 2019 was a year of tremendous growth and change, but it was also a hard one. I kind of want to catch my breath**. I want to continue with my mindfulness practice, and I'm aiming for a regular practice of four yoga classes per week and meditating every day. I want to keep building on the friendships I have. My financial situation is really good (No debt! Lots of investments!), and I mostly just want to keep working and hoarding money for the future. Overall, I don't anticipate any radical changes in 2020***.
But....in 2020, I would like to work on keeping up with everything. I feel like I'm perpetually behind - on housework, on work work - and I find it draining. I hate having clutter in my home and 100 dictations to sign off on in my inbox. I hate feeling like I'm perpetually catching up, only to have new work pile on top of me the moment I finally get through the old work. And it's not like I'm saving time by procrastinating on things - I have the same amount of work to do, regardless of whether I do it right away or put it off for weeks.
Which...is really everyone's problem, right? While the specific tasks may differ, I think we all have an endless to-do list that is never done to our satisfaction. So, while I'm setting this as a goal, I am also trying to be realistic. And to extend a lot of grace and compassion to myself. Because no matter how hard I work, I am never going to get to the bottom of the list. And I need to make peace with that.
As far as how to do this...I'm going to experiment. Try something for a while, see how it goes, then keep it or reject it. I'm not expecting that I will get to the end of the list by midnight tonight and then always keep up with it, forever and ever. I know it will be a process, and so I'm trying to give myself the time and space (and lots of grace!) to work with the process. For the moment, I am going to try three things that I think may help:
1) Going to later yoga classes: Some of my favourite yoga classes are at 5:30 PM, which unfortunately means leaving work at 4:30 and therefore losing out on a lot of potential work time. I'm going to try sticking to a regular weekly schedule, with a 7 PM class as my earliest, so that I get an extra hour or so at work at the end of many days.
2) Coming to work earlier: My work days start between 8 and 9:30 am (sometimes 10 if I really let myself sleep in) depending on whether or not I have a morning clinic. I'm going to try to get to work for 8 am consistently so that I'm getting some extra work time first thing in the morning. As an added bonus, I'm hopeful that the more regular wake up/go to work schedule will be good for my insomnia.
I recognize that I'm proposing to both start later and finish later, which has the potential to simply be too much work. But I'm hoping that this will allow me to get most, if not all, of my work done during the week, thus giving me weekends completely off to recharge. I'll see how it goes...
3) Just doing the shit now: I'm human. I procrastinate. Sometimes epically. Yesterday I logged onto a conference website, thinking it was the last day for early bird registration, and when I discovered that I still had two weeks, I logged off. I did very quickly log back on and register for the conference (also booked my Airbnb like a superstar), but my initial impulse was to procrastinate for another two weeks. I've already started trying to break myself of this habit, as I know it is a huge contributor to the piles of things to do that build up. So I'm trying to just respond to the email, just put my dishes in the dishwasher, just put away the laundry that I've already folded (instead of it sitting on my dresser until the basket is empty), and just add the item to my grocery list (instead of cursing myself when I get home from the store without it). Just. Do. The. Shit.
Who knows if this will work. I like some of the 5:30 yoga classes, so I might cave and go to them. My bed is very comfortable, so I may sleep in. Doing the shit gets tedious. But I'm going to give it a try and see where it takes me.
Any suggestions as I try to get more on top of things in my life?
*At least. I only track yoga classes for my main studio; I think I did another 10 or so at other studios over the year.
**I feel like I'm tempting the universe by typing this.
***Seriously, I feel like I'm baiting the universe with this post.
Showing posts with label Look at Me Accomplish My Goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Look at Me Accomplish My Goals. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
Friday, December 1, 2017
I Made it Through NaBloPoMo!
30 days! I started a day late, so I decided to post today to make it the full 30 days. While not technically following the rules, it totally counts in my book. Yay me!
I started NaBloPoMo on a total whim, and there were a few times I considered stopping. Like after I wrote this totally uninspired post. But I hate failing at anything, so I kept going even though I didn't always want to.
There have been lots of good things about the challenge. For one, I am really darn proud of myself for sticking with it for 30 days, particularly given that I've not been feeling at my emotional best this month. It's nice to know that I have the discipline to stick to something, even when the consequences for not doing so are essentially nil. Second, I've loved all the comments I've been getting! NaBloPoMo happened just after I joined Twitter, so the volume of comments has increased both from having more posts and from having more traffic. I love that people will visit my blog, even though I'm just some random person somewhere in Canada, and I love even more that people are affected enough by what I write to leave a comment. Thank you! And I am sorry that I have been negligent at replying lately. I blame Stranger Things. I am still reading and appreciating every comment.
Lastly, I love that NaBloPoMo has gotten me thinking more creatively. My work is very rote and routine most of the time, and it's easy for me to fall into boring life patterns. I've appreciated being challenged to look at life differently and to come up with interesting things to say. In a tiny way, it makes me feel a little bit more alive. And the comments on this post have inspired me to take on another challenge at Christmas: I'm going to write a play. I've had an idea for a Fringe play bouncing around in my head for months, and I think 10 days will be enough for me to get a very rough draft written. (Maybe? Creampuff? I feel like Creampuff, who is a professional playwright, is just laughing hysterically at this. But worst case scenario I get something on paper. Right?) I don't have any intention of ever presenting the play at the Fringe (I have zero acting experience. And just barely more than zero playwriting experience.), but I think the experience could be fun.
(Also, Judith Thompson told me to write a play. I got to talk to her one-on-one for 45 amazing minutes at a local women's theatre festival, and she encouraged me to write a play. And what else can you do when JUDITH THOMPSON TELLS YOU TO WRITE A PLAY?)
So this is the end of NaBloPoMo. Huge thanks to Creampuff and OMDG and ana for keeping me company with their own NaBloPoMo writing. Although I won't be writing every day anymore, I am committing to a minimum of one blog post per week going forward. NaBloPoMo reminded me of how much I value this space, and I don't want to wait another year to write here regularly.
I started NaBloPoMo on a total whim, and there were a few times I considered stopping. Like after I wrote this totally uninspired post. But I hate failing at anything, so I kept going even though I didn't always want to.
There have been lots of good things about the challenge. For one, I am really darn proud of myself for sticking with it for 30 days, particularly given that I've not been feeling at my emotional best this month. It's nice to know that I have the discipline to stick to something, even when the consequences for not doing so are essentially nil. Second, I've loved all the comments I've been getting! NaBloPoMo happened just after I joined Twitter, so the volume of comments has increased both from having more posts and from having more traffic. I love that people will visit my blog, even though I'm just some random person somewhere in Canada, and I love even more that people are affected enough by what I write to leave a comment. Thank you! And I am sorry that I have been negligent at replying lately. I blame Stranger Things. I am still reading and appreciating every comment.
Lastly, I love that NaBloPoMo has gotten me thinking more creatively. My work is very rote and routine most of the time, and it's easy for me to fall into boring life patterns. I've appreciated being challenged to look at life differently and to come up with interesting things to say. In a tiny way, it makes me feel a little bit more alive. And the comments on this post have inspired me to take on another challenge at Christmas: I'm going to write a play. I've had an idea for a Fringe play bouncing around in my head for months, and I think 10 days will be enough for me to get a very rough draft written. (Maybe? Creampuff? I feel like Creampuff, who is a professional playwright, is just laughing hysterically at this. But worst case scenario I get something on paper. Right?) I don't have any intention of ever presenting the play at the Fringe (I have zero acting experience. And just barely more than zero playwriting experience.), but I think the experience could be fun.
(Also, Judith Thompson told me to write a play. I got to talk to her one-on-one for 45 amazing minutes at a local women's theatre festival, and she encouraged me to write a play. And what else can you do when JUDITH THOMPSON TELLS YOU TO WRITE A PLAY?)
So this is the end of NaBloPoMo. Huge thanks to Creampuff and OMDG and ana for keeping me company with their own NaBloPoMo writing. Although I won't be writing every day anymore, I am committing to a minimum of one blog post per week going forward. NaBloPoMo reminded me of how much I value this space, and I don't want to wait another year to write here regularly.
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