Thursday, April 9, 2015

Welcome to an Adult Relationship

The girlfriend and I had a fight recently.

We don't fight often.  We have good communication skills, and we get along very well with each other, so our fights are few and far between.  When we do fight, it's usually about trivial things - our first big argument, for example, was over whose recipe we were going to use to make paneer.


This time, however, it was a legitimate fight, as is bound to happen in any long-term relationship.  While I won't go into details about the argument, I will say that it resulted from me bottling up my feelings for a very long time and then dumping all of those feelings out on her in a span of about ten minutes.  Perhaps not the best way of dealing with things.  

The whole experience made me realize that I'm really bad at this whole relationship thing.  My earlier relationships were so dysfunctional, and I was so emotionally unattached to the people I was dating, that I never bothered to learn how to communicate with a partner.  Now that I'm very emotionally attached to the person I'm dating, I'm discovering how hard it is to talk about difficult things with someone you love.  I want so badly for things to always be good between us that I ignore anything that isn't good, up until the point that I can no longer contain it.  Which doesn't work very well.

I'm lucky that the girlfriend is understanding and that she is much better at communicating with me than I am with her.  It's almost like she's an adult or something.

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