A few weeks ago, I opened up Facebook while eating breakfast and saw an ad for the perfect house. Only a few minutes from where I currently live and still in a neighbourhood that I love, the house was the ideal balance between "old enough to be charming" and "new enough to not have knob and tube wiring*". And it was for rent, which is probably the only way I'm ever going to get into a house, as I'm utterly terrified of buying something.
It took me only a few minutes to email the person renting it, and I stopped by to see it on my way home from work that evening. When I walked in, the house was toasty warm and beautifully decorated for Christmas, and my heart said a very loud yes. This is my home. I want to live here.
For the next four days, I lived and breathed that house. I posted about it on Twitter and Facebook, I dreamed of all the things I could do in it (Butterfly garden! Bat house! Little Free Library!), and I started rescheduling my upcoming vacation to include packing up my apartment and moving into a house. I was 100% mentally there.
And then...I went back. I went to see it again with my Mom and to work out the practical details, and the reality of the house started to sink it. Houses come with lawns to be mowed and driveways to be shoveled and windows (so many beautiful windows) to be washed. And the $400 more per month in rent was only the beginning of the increased costs - I would have to add electricity and water and gas and a home alarm system and alllll the things I would want to buy with double the space that I currently have. Yes, I could host games nights in a stylish historic living room warmed by a gas fireplace, but I would also have to get up early on snow days to dig my car out of the detached and unheated garage.
I went home that night, and I thought and thought and thought, trying to figure out what to do. It wasn't a question of whether I could afford it - I save a high percentage of my income, so there is money in my budget to move into a much nicer home than where I'm living right now. The question was, why did I want to move into a house?
The answer, for me, was social. I wanted to host games nights for friends and have my aunt over for coffee and drop in informally on the friend who lives around the corner. All really good things. But...none of them dependent on being in a house. Sure, my one-bedroom apartment is limited in its ability to host big gatherings, but I'm an introvert who actually doesn't really like being around large groups of people. Two to six people is about ideal for me, and my dining room table can comfortably seat six. The size of my apartment isn't really what limits me socially - it's time and energy, both of which I'd have less of in a house.
The financial side of it, even though I could afford it, was also a big issue. The added costs would be approximately equal to one month a year of income - that's huge! When I looked at it that way, and asked myself "Would I rather have that house or an extra month of vacation every year?", vacation won without a moment of hesitation**.
So....I still live in the apartment where I've lived for nine years. And...I'm good with that. Work is a 6-minute drive when there's no traffic (and under 30 in even the worst of rush hour traffic). I can easily walk to fabulous restaurants and coffee shops. And I have time and money and energy to do the thing that's most important to me: connect.
*Technically renovated to not have knob and tube wiring...but still new enough to not be a nightmare of old home disasters.
**Not that I'm going to take an extra month of vacation, as my vacation
time is already pretty ridiculously amazing, and I do need to earn
money.
Interesting. After 35+ years of home ownership I changed my life last spring, moved out from the wife, and off the farm. I still went back to mow and do maintenance things, but my life in a little rental cabin is so much simpler. I am no longer building equity, but I am getting old and it was getting time to slow down a bit. Home ownership is sort of a forced savings plan and you hope to get something gainful out of it when you sell. Of course there may be an emotional attachment, but that depends on a lot of things and may or may not be relevant. You can hire people to do the things you don't want to, especially if you live in an urban area. That does take away from the investment value, however. I am sure you have thought of most of these things and home ownership is a real commitment that you need to be ready to make. Just my 2 cents.
ReplyDeleteI hope the transition is treating you well! That's a lot of change all at once.
DeleteThat is SUCH a hard decision. Kudos to you for giving yourself the time and space to figure out what's best for you. (Also, it does sound like your apartment is a pretty great situation!)
ReplyDeleteMy apartment is pretty awesome! I actually typed up an ad for a sublet, and as I was typing I kept thinking "Why do I want to leave this place?" They have also barely increased my rent in the past 9 years, so while it was initially a bit pricey, it's now pretty good...especially for the great neighbourhood I live in.
DeleteI missed the house-gazing! But it makes sense that it didn't make sense for you to trade up, all things considered. I pondered whether I regretted our changes, given the increased responsibility and cost and everything and I don't but it is so definitely a lot more work and expense. I would resent it if we didn't thoroughly enjoy and use all the extra space we now have.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're ultimately happy with your decision. I probably would've been too, if I'd gone with the house. I think? As I was making the decision, I realized that I could probably be happy either way...so I decided to pick the option that was hundreds of dollars a month less!
Delete" The question was, why did I want to move into a house?
ReplyDeleteThe answer, for me, was social."
Same here. We picked our house primarily because of the social aspect: most of our hang outs are with friends at someone's house, and our house is a good one for hosting.
That said, about 80% of our hangouts are with like 6 or 4 people so we certainly don't need a table that can handle 8 or 10, or as much space as we have. It's just nice for those rare events where we have like 40 people over.
I think you made a really good personal choice for you staying in the apartment. Like you said, a table that can seat 6 is great for game nights. Barely any games handle more than that.
So...when's game night? ;)
Whenever you come to Canada!
DeleteIt would be really nice to host a big group once in a while, especially because I have a large group of med school friends, but fortunately I have a friend with a giant house (and an indoor pool!) who is willing to host if I make the plans. It's the best of both worlds!
Wow. I am so glad you made all those reflections before moving in! Mr. F. and I tend to realize those things only after the fact. Which is a big reason why I regret buying this house!
ReplyDeleteI rarely (never?) make decisions without a lot of reflection. Like....way too much. I'm definitely more likely to make an error from not doing something than from doing something.
DeleteMoving is such a pain, and while having more space would be nice, having more money saved up is often nicer. More space often just means more to heat and clean. Kudos to you for thinking before leaping. :-)
ReplyDeleteThis whole vacation I have been thinking "OMG....it would have sucked to have to move during this".
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