Sometimes I'm an idiot.
I know from almost 38 years of living as myself that I don't enjoy being overly busy. I can handle a lot of busy - I've survived four years of medical school and five years of residency - but my preference is always for a slower, more manageable pace. Which is why it was idiotic of me to 1) arrive home after being away for five weeks at 8 PM the night before I had to go back to work; 2) agree to do call the weekend after I returned; and 3) agree to adjudicate an exam all Saturday while also on call. Add to this the fact that I have three presentations to give over three weeks, and life has been too busy lately. And I've been a miserable grouch of a person as I've struggled to do too many things in too little time.
All of these things could've been avoided. I could've (and should've) taken a stat day off after returning from holidays to unpack the car and wash the massive amounts of laundry. I could've switched my weekend of call. I could've said that, no, it isn't worth giving up a weekend day to earn a little bit of money when I'll be a full-blown attending in a few months. But I'm an idiot.
I need to remember this when I start working as an attending this summer. I need to remember that I need sleep, and time to clean my apartment, and quality time with my girlfriend. And all of these things are more important than earning a bit more money, no matter how big my line of credit may still be*.
Remind me of this when I'm tempted to say yes to an extra weekend of attending call.
*I've got a post brewing about the massive line of credit from hell. Stay tuned.
Amen -- it's always so tempting to add "just one more" -- just one more moonlighting shift, just one more call, just one more task at the end of the day. But this is how we end up burned out, exhausted, and physically sick, which ends up serving no one's ends. I am trying to learn this too -- to really respect the need for rest and say no to "just one more."
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you're back. Yes, we often sabotage ourselves by not tending to our most basic needs of rest & comfort in the midst of chaos. Something I'm continuously working on---trying to find the just the right amount of busy.
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